They're All Crooks

I was asked, more than once, about my voting intentions this coming October 14th, 2008. Previously, I would have answered: "None of your frigging business", or sometimes: the NDP, the Green Party or the Marxist-Leninist Party, depending on my mood at the time. But I know full well that my vote wouldn't matter in the least.

The thing is: votes never matter. Whichever party is elected, you can be sure that with some rare exceptions, it's the same interchangeable parade of crooks and morons. That's why, IMHO, democracy is not democratic! In a democracy, you can meet the new Boss, but he's the same as the old Boss. If we were in a dictatorship, something like North Korea, let's say, and you kill Dear Leader, you get a real change in regime. But in democratic Canada or United States, kill leader A, you get leader B, but it's the same racket. Heads They win, Tails you lose. And all They want is to get rich and help their friends get rich.

Let me quote a US blog called Once Upon A time (http://powerofnarrative.blogspot.com/) :

"The ruling elites do not care what you think. I repeat: they do not care.

Oh, yes, they care to some extent when elections come around -- but any such concern Democratic politicians might have for certain voters' views is obliterated by one consideration loudly and repeatedly announced by almost every liberal and progressive blogger. As I've noted before (...), the Washington Democrats know you will continue to vote for them no matter what they do.

When you approach the negotiating table and tell your opponent you'll give him everything he wants before you even sit down, exactly how successful do you think those negotiations will be from your perspective? Yet this is precisely what the liberal and progressive bloggers do time after time after time -- and then they profess amazement when the Democrats act in ways opposed to those same bloggers' views. And note this is not even about all voters' views, just the views of some of them. Since you'll vote for them anyway no matter what they do, why the hell should they care? Sure, you're "alienated" for the moment -- but who are you gonna vote for in November 2008, hmm? They already know the answer to that question.

The ruling class does not care about you or your views. The MoveOn denunciation is an aspect of the performance put on by one part of the ruling class for the benefit of another part. They may criticize each other in certain predetermined ways and within certain narrowly circumscribed limits -- but you may not criticize any of them in ways that go beyond what the ruling class as a whole has decided is acceptable. ... Your role -- and your only role -- is to vote for them as required, and then to shut up. (...)

A crime syndicate is running the executive and legislative branches of the U.S. government. No, that's not accurate. A crime syndicate is the executive and legislative branches of the U.S. government."

Because Canadians are fewer in number and with less money at stake, our political scene is not as flamboyant and/or entertaining as the US one, but we are ruled by the same old truth: politicians are all crooks. Vote for whomever you want, you would still be screwed. So why don't you just relax, lie back and think of England. It'll be over soon.

R.I.P. Paul Leonard Newman (January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008)

A Bad Week

Mercury is retrograde, so I'm glad the week is ending soon.

Yesterday, I had a car accident and on Tuesday, the hospital called me at 2:30 in the morning to tell me my mother had a fall and has been taken to the hospital for a serie of stitches on her scalp. She was equipped with a movement alarm thingie that would ring if she tried to get out of her bed by herself at night, but she somehow managed to remove it. Since she cannot walk unassisted, she fell and hit her head on the bedstand. When I went to see her the next day, she asked me to help her remove that darn thing (it was attached to the back of her collar). It took me a long time to convince her that it would be a bad idea.

This is me with dearest mom.

Uh ... NOT!!

This is a better representation of my relationship with my mom.

Anyhoo, Mercury will resume its forward path soon, so let's hope things will get back to normal.

Crash

This was my car early this morning.

This is my car now.

This is me at the hospital this morning.


This is me after I got home from the hospital.

My dog was with me in the car ...

As well as my cat....

And my hedgehog.

So if you come visit, bring: a book, a bone, a mouse and some worms. Thank you.

Summer In The City - Pilobolus

Sent by: Sam (Thank you Sam!)

Pilobolus at the 79th Oscar Ceremony:

I Wish I Were Married To A Cook

About every other day, I go to bed in tears because the same thought hit me again and again: why ain't I married to a cook? If I were, I would never have to think about food all the time: what to buy at the grocery store, what to prepare, how to plan my lunchbox, etc.. There will always be something edible in the fridge and all I need to worry about is buying some croissants for breakfast.

If you are in the same situation and you like Vietnamese food, but unlike me, you enjoy cooking, there might be some relief. I found a sensational website called The Wandering Chopsticks and one of her posts is: 100 Vietnamese Food To Try, with recipes for al items on the list!!!11!!

http://wanderingchopsticks.blogspot.com/2008/09/vietnamese-100-foods-to-try.html.

So go cook!! Now!!!

Update: I was mistaken. She did not provide recipes for all items, just for some. The rest are links to places where you can find them (in the US!) Scrogneugneu!!!!!@#$!?%$!!

Two Letters I Just Got in the Mail

First Letter:

ATTN: Madam Buddhist With An Attitude

I am Phillip K. the eldest son of the late formal minister of finance in Nigeria. I got your contact through a reliable source here in Africa and I decided to seek for your assistance in this my family last hope.

However at the peak of the civil war that wreacked my country, my father confided in me that he deposited the sum of $20 million dollars and 75kg alluvial gold dust in a security company here in Lagos-Nigeria as a family treasury. Hence, my father told me that all the document/the certificate of deposit is with our family lawyer in Nigeria who signed as a witness by the deposition.

I have met the lawyer to confirm the information after we were brought down to Nigeria to be safe from the war. Unfortunately, my father and some other members of the cabinet were murdered by Foday S. Sankoh lead Revolutionary United Front (R.U.F) may their gentle souls rest in peace.

But now that I am out of the refugee camp, I am pleading for your assistance as a mentor as well as partner whom I can trust and not be betrayed by in order to move the merchandise out of Nigeria.

Now presently, the money and the gold dust are with the security company which I will disclose to you later as we progress. Hence, I have visited the Security Company to confirm the state of the merchandised it is intact, although the security company officials did not know the content of the consignment as it is deposited as family treasury/personal artefacts.

Finally, what need from you is to come down here and carry this money and this gold and go back with me to your country for future investment, but if you cannot come due to one reason or the other you can advicemeon what next to do.

I have mapped out the total sum of 20% of this funds for your noble assistance and 5% for any expenses that might incurred in the process of this transaction. Please no body know this business except you and I, therefore you are required to maintain absolutely confidentially in this transaction.My regards to you and your family

Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,

Phillip K.

Second Letter: (via http://www.thenation.com/blogs/jstreet/363133/bailout_satire)

Dear Buddhist With An Attitude: 

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude. 

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you. 

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe. 

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred. 

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds. 

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

Jet Li Le Généreux

Jet Li, maître kung-fu, apprenti philanthrope, par Sylvie Kauffmann
http://tinyurl.com/4pyrrt

A l'heure où Wall Street saigne, en ces temps de folles nationalisations outre-Pacifique et de privatisations mûrement pensées dans l'empire du Milieu, Jet Li fait une pause. A 45 ans, celui que l'on connaît vulgairement en Occident comme le roi du kung-fu, mais qui est en réalité le dieu du wu shu, a décidé d'interrompre sa carrière cinématographique pendant un an, pour se consacrer à plein temps à une activité apparue au Moyen Age en Europe et encore balbutiante en Chine : la philanthropie.

Ecouter Jet Li en T-shirt blanc, veste de coton noire et espadrilles chinoises évoquer avec passion son nouveau rôle dans l'univers de la générosité est une expérience intéressante, parce que la philanthropie, après tout, n'est pas seulement un passe-temps de riches, c'est aussi une idée occidentale. Et finalement, ce que raconte Jet Li, en marge d'un forum mondial de PDG organisé par Forbes à Singapour, c'est un peu une histoire de contrefaçon positive, une lucarne sur ce que l'on arrive à bâtir lorsque l'on emprunte à l'Ouest ce qu'il sait faire de mieux et qu'on le greffe sur le potentiel tout neuf de l'Orient.

Le 26 décembre 2004 au matin, Jet Li était en vacances aux Maldives, avec sa femme et ses filles, lorsque la monstrueuse vague du tsunami déferla sur l'hôtel dans lequel il se trouvait. Le bébé qu'il tenait dans ses bras fut emporté puis sauvé par une femme providentielle. On sort rarement indemne d'une telle expérience, et l'invincible Jet Li n'a pas fait exception. Quelques années auparavant, la crise financière qui avait secoué l'Asie l'avait déjà fait réfléchir ; le tsunami fournit le déclic. "Quand je suis sorti du ventre de ma mère, dit-il, j'étais tout nu et j'ai crié, les poings en l'air : "Je veux tout ! Je veux un nom, je veux la richesse, le pouvoir !" Mais quand je mourrai, je serai à nouveau tout nu, et je n'aurai plus rien."

Dans son dernier film, Le Royaume interdit, Jet Li est un guerrier kung-fu redoutable et silencieux. Dans la vie, c'est un gentil qui parle anglais avec un inimitable accent chinois ("Djè-lii", dit Jet Li en se présentant) et dont le visage s'illumine en une fraction de seconde lorsqu'il sourit de toutes ses dents. Il avait 8 ans lorsqu'il s'est mis aux arts martiaux, puis, de 11 à 16 ans, a voyagé à travers le monde au sein d'une compagnie chinoise d'arts martiaux. A 17 ans, il a tourné dans son premier film et ne s'est jamais plus arrêté. Jusqu'à aujourd'hui.

Jet Li est bouddhiste, mais n'a rien étudié d'autre que le wu shu, alors, pour la philanthropie, il est allé à la source du savoir. "Pour créer une ONG du XXIe siècle, j'ai tout appris des Américains. Je suis allé voir la Fondation Ford, la Fondation Rockefeller, je suis allé à Harvard, puis je suis allé à Genève... Mais moi je suis fabriqué en Chine, j'y connais plus de monde : c'est là qu'il fallait que je commence."

En 2007, l'acteur crée One Foundation, adossée à la Croix-Rouge, qui se veut à la fois un fonds d'intervention d'urgence pour les catastrophes et une plate-forme pour la multitude d'ONG naissantes. Pêle-mêle, il parle des 100 millions de yuans (10 millions d'euros) collectés en sept jours, dont la moitié par Internet, auprès d'un million de personnes, après le tremblement de terre du Sichuan, puis des enfants de la nouvelle bourgeoisie chinoise qui ont la vie si facile et qui disent : "Oui, je donnerai quand je serai millionnaire." "Mais non ! A 5 ans, on peut déjà donner, un tout petit peu ! Just a lidol bit !"

Mais Jet Li parle surtout de ce sacré "bisness modol", le modèle économique qu'il veut trouver pour les ONG et les fondations privées chinoises, avec l'équipe de quinze professionnels dont il s'est entouré pour maîtriser son enthousiasme un peu brouillon. "Vous, en Europe, vous avez quatre cents ans d'expérience philanthropique. Aux Etats-Unis, ils ont plus d'un siècle d'expertise. Mais regardez la Chine, ce qu'ont été les cent dernières années pour elle !" Son idée à lui, c'est de prendre le "disque dur" de la philanthropie tel qu'il a été mis au point en Occident pour y intégrer le "logiciel" qui tiendra compte de la culture asiatique, de la tradition de générosité familiale, de l'exigence de discrétion. A sa demande, des professeurs de l'université Tsinghua, la meilleure de Chine, planchent sur l'élaboration d'un projet de loi sur la philanthropie.

A sa manière, Jet Li profite d'une tendance qui s'accélère en Asie depuis cinq ou six ans. Avec la hausse du niveau de vie et l'explosion du nombre de millionnaires, provoquées par la croissance économique, la philanthropie séduit de nombreux riches, d'autant plus que les inégalités se creusent. Derrière Li Ka-Shing, l'homme le plus riche d'Asie, qui finance depuis Hongkong d'importants projets éducatifs et sociaux, a émergé une génération d'hommes d'affaires philanthropes. L'Inde a aussi ses mécènes. Jet Li, lui, veut déjà aller plus loin et recruter les classes moyennes. Dès qu'il aura son "bisness modol".

Culture en péril - Bilingual Post

The Harper Government has threatened to implement $44.8-million cuts to arts-and-culture programs, and the scary thing is most Canadians agree with them. This video clip was made in reply to the planned cuts. (Thank you, W.D. Forty!!)

Update: Je reproduis ci-après le billet de Patrick Lagacé, chroniqueur de La Presse (http://tinyurl.com/4rt3e4), parce qu'il dit bien, bien mieux que moi ce que je pense.

"Les barbares applaudissent

C’est décourageant d’entendre les tatas du gros bon sens glousser devant les coupes des subventions aux organismes culturels. C’est comme écouter des ivrognes roter.

Ça suinte le mépris de l’Autre, de la différence, du petit. Surtout du petit. On ne se sent jamais aussi grand que quand, en gang, on peut varger un peu sur la danseuse de ballet, sur le sculpteur, sur le peintre, sur le dramaturge, n’est-ce pas ?

À écouter l’écho assourdissant des meneurs de claques de ces coupes de 45 millions, les artistes sont tous – TOUS – des sangsues de deniers publics, des téteux de subventions, des buveurs de champagne payés par le proverbial contribuable.

C’est tout juste si on ne dit pas que les ballerines sont responsables de la dette publique...

C’est le discours du gros bon sens dans toute sa splendeur. Vous savez, ces centaines de milliers de personnes qui ont voté ADQ, en 2007, avec cet espoir vestimentaire, celui de voir des élus mettre leurs culottes ?

Eh bien, ils ont été déçus de l’ADQ.

Mais le gouvernement Harper agite devant eux d’autres belles culottes, et les tatas sont heureux, mais heureux !

Ils se réjouissent de voir le gouvernement de M. Harper présider à des coupes (désorganisées et improvisées) dans divers programmes, à Patrimoine Canada et au ministère des Affaires extérieures, destinés à soutenir les arts et la culture.

Pays subventionné

Je me fiche de la danse moderne. Je me fiche de la sculpture. Je me fiche de la peinture. Je me fiche du théâtre de Wajdi Mouawad aussi.

Mais qu’ils reçoivent, à gauche et à droite, des subventions de l’État ne me dérange pas le moins du monde. Parce que c’est dans l’ordre des choses. Tout, dans ce pays, est subventionné.

Bombardier est subventionné. Pratt & Whitney est subventionné. La Yukon First Nation Tourism Association aussi. Les émissions de TVÀ sont subventionnées. La Fine Cotton Factory de Scarborough aussi.

Et l’industrie du pétrole en reçoit. Les pétrolières, merde !

Ces pétrolières, en plus, ne paient pas leur juste part d’impôt. Le constat est de Brigitte Alepin, comptable et auteure du livre Ces riches qui ne paient pas d’impôt, citée dans le Journal de Montréal, l’an dernier.

Les pétrolières albertaines, grâce au régime fiscal et aux programmes d’aide à l’industrie pétrolière, paient en moyenne 17 % d’impôt, explique Mme Alepin.
Une PME ? Vingt-deux pour cent !

Cette différence est un cadeau d’un milliard par année d’Ottawa aux pétrolières. Un milliard ! Aux pétrolières !

Mais bizarrement, la hargne populaire face aux cadeaux structurels d’Ottawa à Big Pétrole n’a jamais – JAMAIS – atteint le degré de mépris dont on abreuve les artistes ces jours-ci.

Petro-Canada et Cie reçoivent des cadeaux de l’État. Mais il y en a qui vomissent sur Vincent Gratton !

Pouache-pouache

À peu près tout, au Canada, économie mixte, reçoit une piasse ou deux de l’État, qu’il soit fédéral, provincial ou municipal.

Est-ce juste ? Est-ce souhaitable ? Est-ce la meilleure voie ?
Je ne sais pas.

Mais pourquoi c’est le derrière des artistes qui sert de tapis à ce débat ?

Puis il y a la morale. Avec les conservateurs, on n’en sort jamais. Pas qu’ils soient si droits eux-mêmes, mais il faut quand même donner des bonbons aux amis de Jésus qui composent une partie de leur base, dans l’Ouest, et qui s’émeuvent de films aux titres pouache-pouache comme Young People Fucking.

La morale, donc. Quand les médias canadiens-anglais ont sorti la nouvelle de ces coupes, en août, ils ont aussi mis la main sur une note interne de fonctionnaires décrivant certains bénéficiaires de subventions du programme PromArt comme «ne représentant pas» le Canadien moyen, à qui ils pourraient même faire «hausser les sourcils» d’étonnement.

Ces bénéficiaires suspects ?

Avi Lewis, journaliste employé notamment par le service anglais d’Al-Jazira. Lewis est le mari de Naomi Klein, héroïne de l’altermondialisme connue pour ses attaques débridées contre le capitalisme.

La journaliste Gwynne Dyer, une autre méchante gauchiste, dont PromArt a payé le voyage à Cuba pour une conférence (c’est l’ambassade du Canada à La Havane qui a fait la demande de subvention, pas Dyer).

Un groupe de musique électronique qui a été jugé, par la porte-parole de David Emerson, « offensant ». Son crime ? Le groupe s’appelle... Holy Fuck.

Les petits

On dira que certains artistes ne méritent pas de subventions. Que les humoristes sont riches. Qu’on sert du champagne dans les galas. Que les producteurs de télé roulent en BMW. Que Normand Brathwaite est millionnaire. Peut-être. Alors qu’on vise les subventions versées aux « gros ».

Mais là, ce sont des ballerines manitobaines, des dramaturges montréalais et des groupes ontariens aux noms subversifs que votre idole Verner punit. Des petits, surtout.

Pas Rozon, pas Huard, pas des gros. Des petits.

Et vous applaudissez...

Ça pue l’ignorance et ça suinte la jalousie.

Les barbares sont vraiment en train de nous envahir."

Backstroke Of The West

A few years ago, I, along with many delighted blog readers, stumbled upon the most hilarious post ever: http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html

Jeremy, the owner of the blog, bought a pirated copy of Revenge of the Sith in Hong Kong and found out that the pirates have added hilarious English subtitles to the film.

Now the Engrish site has made a YouTube clip of some of the scenes, which I have embedded below, but really, go to Jeremy's blog and you'll piss your pants laughing.

Cocktail for Two

Via Miss Cellania: Spike Jones and his City Slickers

Bonus: http://www.fykz.com/subtitles/display.php?id=3191

Subprime for idiots

http://docs.google.com/TeamPresent?revision=_latest&fs=true&docID=ddv7hj34_03774hsc7&skipauth=true

If I can understand this, anyone can, and I can.

Indignation sélective

Je reproduis ci-dessous la lettre ouverte de M. Guy Archambault (http://www.ledevoir.com/2008/09/16/205742.html#content), adressée à Monseigneur Jean-Claude Turcotte, cardinal et archevêque de Montréal, qui a renvoyé sa médaille de l'Ordre du Canada en protestation contre l'octroi de cette médaille au Dr Henri Morgentaler, célèbre défenseur du droit à l'avortement des femmes. Les photos sont de moi.

Mgr Jean-Claude Turcotte, 

Compte tenu du rôle de l'Église au Québec dans un passé encore récent, votre sortie contre le Dr Henry Morgentaler et l'Ordre du Canada soulève beaucoup de questions.

Vous affirmez que l'Ordre du Canada ne devrait être décerné qu'aux seules personnalités faisant l'objet d'un consensus. Si tel était le cas, êtes-vous certain que vous auriez reçu cette distinction? En 1996, de nombreux Québécois ont été choqués que l'Ordre du Canada soit attribué au représentant d'une institution qui, à leurs yeux, avait souvent penché du côté de l'oppression et de l'obscurantisme et représentait toujours une menace pour les libertés. Pourtant, ils n'ont pas mené de cabale contre vous comme vous le faites maintenant contre le Dr Morgentaler. Seraient-ils plus tolérants que vous? 

Vous avez retourné votre insigne, car vous ne pouvez supporter l'idée d'être membre d'un ordre aux côtés d'un homme dont les actions soulèvent votre indignation. Est-ce à dire que rien ne vous indigne dans les actions passées et présentes de l'Église? Passons sur l'Inquisition, les bûchers et les massacres d'Albigeois -- c'est de l'histoire ancienne n'est-ce pas? -- même si le clergé québécois glorifiait encore les croisades dans les années 60... 

Mais l'antisémitisme? Mais la filière vaticane, et les compromissions avec le nazisme, le fascisme et les dictatures chilienne et argentine? Et ici au Québec, vous ne vous scandalisez pas de la lutte hargneuse contre la démocratie et le droit de vote des femmes, des pressions des prêtres sur les femmes les plus fragiles pour leur imposer la soumission à leur mari et des grossesses répétées, de l'oppression des enfants dans les pensionnats? Rien de cela ne vous pousserait à retourner votre anneau? Je vous trouve l'indignation bien sélective. 


Vous avez le droit d'être en désaccord avec la conception du libre choix du Dr Morgentaler, mais vous devez reconnaître son courage et son abnégation, lui qui n'a jamais hésité à sacrifier son confort et sa sécurité à son combat. Ce combat, il l'a mené avec pour seul souci l'émancipation des femmes, au moment où elles étaient maintenues dans un état d'infériorité et de soumission. À l'époque, je n'ai pas souvent entendu le clergé protester contre la condition des femmes, lui qui se prétend au service des faibles et des démunis. 

Que pouvons-nous ressentir en vous entendant exprimer des conseils paternels à des femmes fragilisées, vous, le représentant d'une institution qui les a constamment méprisées et rabaissées? Vous prenez un ton bienveillant et prétendez ne pas vouloir recriminaliser l'avortement. Il vous faut convaincre en douceur sans effaroucher les brebis égarées, dont vous sentez bien la méfiance et la réticence à votre endroit. Lorsque le clergé détenait un pouvoir considérable, il ne s'embarrassait pas de tant de scrupules. C'étaient les anathèmes, les excommunications, les interdictions de sépulture, le chantage permanent au châtiment éternel. 

Et que pouvons-nous ressentir encore en vous voyant prendre la défense des futurs enfants que sont les foetus, vous dont l'Église a mis plus d'énergie à protéger et à «réhabiliter» les prêtres pédophiles qu'à se porter au secours des enfants réels et bien en chair qui étaient leurs victimes? Est-ce vraiment la vie que vous aimez, ou plutôt un principe abstrait et rigoriste dérivé de vos dogmes religieux? 

Le retour aux valeurs traditionnelles dans certaines régions du Québec ne vous a pas échappé. Vous y voyez une occasion rêvée de reconquérir un peu de votre pouvoir. Comme Mgr Marc Ouellet avant vous, vous essayez de surfer sur la vague, trop impatient de reprendre votre magistère moral. L'autre soir, le Téléjournal nous a offert le spectacle d'hommes en noir empressés de diriger les consciences en pleine campagne électorale, parce qu'ils pensent rencontrer enfin un vent favorable. Cela nous a rappelé des souvenirs douloureux. Ceux qui croyaient que vous vous étiez amendés ont été détrompés. Pour cela, je vous remercie.

Sarah Palin & Hillary Clinton on SNL

Beautiful Waste of Paper and Time

From Cynical-C blog:


EepyBird's Sticky Note experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

La blague du mardi

Sent by Bernouille [Merci, Bernouille!!]

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles.

Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk. The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.

However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do.

They told the rabbi what was happening, "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Minsk ?" The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow.

"You are truly a wise rabbi," they said."How did you know we got the cow from Minsk ?"

The rabbi answered, "My wife is also from Minsk .."

Those $%?*&!!!! Squirrels!!!!!

Frigging bastard!!!

Here's how I usually spend my weekend: my dog wakes me up at 6:30, I get up and go open the kitchen door for her, the dog goes outside and does her morning business, I go back to bed for another 2-3 hours, leaving the door open for the dog to go in and out as she wishes. Then I get up for real, have a leisurely breakfast, before running my errands and doing my chores.

So, same routine this morning, but when I got up the second time and went in the kitchen to prepare my coffee and croissants, this is what I found on the kitchen counter:

Some frigging squirrel came inside the kitchen, climbed on the countertop and ripped open my bag of croissants and stole one. I saved two croissants for my weekend consumption and now I only have one left!!!! And he probably licked that last one too!!!

GGGGRRRR!!!! #@%?@&**@$!!!!!!

Beside putting this carpet at the entrance of the kitchen and firing the dog, what else could I do???

Republican Game Plan

According to Falstaff (http://falstaff-falstaff.blogspot.com/2008/09/defensive-assignments.html):

Defensive Assignments

Okay, I think I've got the Republican defensive game plan down now.

Palin, you're covering Obama.

McCain, you're going after Bush.

Don't worry about Biden -- he'll be occupied talking to himself in the backfield.

If they bring in Hillary to call some plays, just stand aside. Every first down she gets will just demoralize their bench and fans, thinking about who could've been their starting quarterback.

Okay, break!

There is no Higgs and I'm too old for this

The other day, Asparagus and I were watching a TED clip about the superstring theory and a multidimensional universe. Listen for yourself.

I tried to stay interested, because the talk was fascinating, but I'm too old and soon fell asleep. Imagine my surprise and delight when I found out the next day that a young scientist is explaining the same thing by rapping.

Well, you guess the punch line... I fell asleep again!!

The Lion-Hearted Christian

Sorry about the music.. and the gnan gnan messages..

President Bill Clinton's Speech in Denver 2008

Hillary Clinton's Presidential Speech

Unclear On The Concept

The problem: Hillary's supporters are not warming up to Obama.

From CQ Politics: "Democratic congressional leaders said Sunday they would settle for nothing less than enthusiastic, unambiguous rhetoric from Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and former President Bill Clinton encouraging their supporters to rally to Barack Obama ’s presidential candidacy and quell talk of party disunity... Top Democrats say it’s unthinkable that the Clintons won’t appear to fully on board behind the ticket during this week’s convention and into the fall. But they are offering thinly veiled warnings about fealty nonetheless. The House majority whip, James E. Clyburn of South Carolina, said that in their speeches the Clintons have to “really demonstrate to this party and the American people where they are with Obama’s candidacy.’’

The solution: More insults, of course.

From Clusterfuck: "...a flock of disgruntled harpies has landed in Denver to advance Mrs. Clinton's claims at all cost... Meanwhile, reports coming out of Denver that Hillary's Harpies say they would rather vote for John McCain than Barack Obama simply boggle the mind. How fucking crazy are these women? And what have they made of their movement to advance political equality -- a mere campaign of revenge? Is that what their country needs right now?"

Whipping and beatings will continue until morale improves

Instant Karma

La Rubrique "N'importe Quoi"

Le pire, c'est qu'il y a une faute d'orthographe à "Utiliseés".  

Explication: en anglais, un caban, c'est un "pea jacket", mais pour un francophone, un "pea", une pie, same shit.

No Respect At All

Ce midi, je suis allée acheter des rouges à lèvres à Pharmaprix, où j'ai été servie par un jeune homme tout mignon, très aimable. On va ensemble à la caisse, je paye et il me dit: "J'aurai quelques échantillons à vous donner" et il me tend un petit sachet de crème antirides. Je prends le sachet, remercie le vendeur et me prépare à partir, mais il me retient : "Non, attendez, prenez-en encore!" et il me tend une poignée de sachets. Me retenant de rire, je m'exclame à très haute voix : "Espèce de goujat! Je veux parler à votre superviseur!!" Le pauvre vendeur est devenu tout rouge et bafouille, les yeux écarquillés : "Euh, non, madame, ce n'est pas ce que je veux dire...heuh...pas du tout... heuh...excusez-moi...je..je..." Je lui tourne le dos et m'en vais rapidement pour ne pas éclater de rire.

The Winners

From: Bartcop http://www.bartcop.com/

The Knighthood of Sir Nils Olav, aka The Black Knight (Motto: "It's only a flesh wound")

(From the BBC News : http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7562773.stm)

A penguin who was previously made a Colonel-in-Chief of the Norwegian Army has been knighted at Edinburgh Zoo.  Penguin Nils Olav has been an honorary member and mascot of the Norwegian King's Guard since 1972. Over the years, he has been promoted through the ranks after being adopted by Royal Guard who visited the zoo. During the ceremony, Nils had a sword dubbed on each side of his head, where his shoulders should be, to confirm his regimental knighthood. 

A crowd of several hundred people joined the 130 guardsmen at the zoo. A citation from King Harald the Fifth of Norway was read out, which described Nils as a penguin "in every way qualified to receive the honour and dignity of knighthood". 

The guardsmen come to see Nils every few years while they are in Edinburgh performing at the city's Military Tattoo. The proud penguin was on his best behaviour throughout most of the ceremony, but shortly before the ritual was concluded and possibly suffering a bout of nerves he was seen to deposit a discreet white puddle on the ground. 

Drawing a polite veil over that, Darren McGarry, animal collection manager at the zoo, said afterwards: "It went extremely well and we are delighted that the Norwegian Guard honoured Nils Olav with a knighthood. "We all enjoyed the occasion and Nils was a perfect penguin throughout." British Major General Euan Loudon officiated at the ceremony. 

Mr McGarry, added: "Nils always recognises the Norwegian guardsmen when they come to visit him.  "He loves the attention he receives at the ceremony and takes his time inspecting the troops." Nils has also received medals for long service and had a 4ft bronze statue built in his honour. 

Guardsman Captain Rune Wiik said: "We are extremely proud of Nils Olav and pleased that an enduring part of the Royal Guard is resident in Scotland helping to further strengthen ties between our two countries." 

However, the penguin honoured on Friday is unfortunately not the original Nils Olav. He died in the 1980s and was replaced by a two-year-old penguin at the Zoo. Norway presented the zoo with its first king penguin in 1913, the year of its opening. 

David Windmill, chief executive of the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, the charity that owns Edinburgh Zoo, said: "We have a long-standing history with the Norwegian King's Guard and it is something we are extremely proud of."

Mother-Children Love Transcends Time

(Via Pharyngula: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/)

From the National Geographic Site: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/08/080814-sereno-sahara-missions.html

Paleontologist Paul Sereno and his team were scouring the rocks between harsh dunefields in northern Niger for dinosaur bones in 2000 when they stumbled across the graveyard, on the shores of a long-gone lake.

Perhaps most incredible was the 2006 discovery the Stone Age Embrace—a Tenerian woman facing the remains of two young children, their arms posed and hands interlaced. Pollen remnants from underneath the skeletons shows the dead had been laid on a bed of flowers. "This is a landmark burial—there's nothing like it in prehistory," Sereno said. 

The scientists eventually uncovered 200 burials of two vastly different cultures that span five thousand years—the first time such a site has been found at a single site.

Called Gobero, the area is a uniquely preserved record of human habitation and burials from the Kiffian (7700 to 6200 B.C.) and the Tenerian (5200 to 2500 B.C.) cultures, says a new study led by Sereno of the University of Chicago.

The "watershed" find also offers a new window into how these tribes lived and buried their dead during the extreme Holocene period, when a grassy Sahara dried up in the world's largest desert.

Very cool stuff. Please go read the whole thing... or buy the September issue of National Geographic.

Hindi Salsa

From Sepia Mutiny (http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/005321.html)

Meet Giju John, 33. Born: Thiruvananthapuram, India. Lives: Silicon Valley. Employer: Intel. He’s an electical engineer who’s got his groove on.



Giju John is back in India right now, on a three month sabbatical. He’s giving his salsa career his all, shooting music videos, performing, and attending … the 3rd annual India International Salsa Congress in Bangalore from the 14th to the 20th of August. Who knew Salsa was so big in India?!

He's Old

It took me a long time but I finally got it: McCain is old, doncha know?

I've been following the US Presidential campaign since the beginning of the primaries. I've read and watched the attacks from both sides in the newspapers, blogs and video clips. We all know that Obama is a slick, flipflopping, race-baiting, inexperienced Muslim while McCain is ... what?.. old? That's the theme of all the attacks against McCain. One blog that I read is WTF Is It Now (http://maruthecrankpot.blogspot.com/) and that's the gist of practically all their posts about him. I keep waiting in vain for the mean stuff to start. We all know John McCain is a despicable disloyal spouse who dropped his first wife to golddiggerly marry a younger richer woman, a sexist old (there's that word again) pig who called his second wife a "cunt" in public, a stupid ignorant fool who knows nothing about politics, geography, economy, computers, etc.. etc. When are the Democratic campaign and the left blogs going to mention all this in their attacks?

It seems like all he's being criticized for is being old. This morning, Paris Hilton issued a reply video making fun of McCain for .. yep, the crime of being old.

And that's when the lightbulb finally clicked on for me. In the US (and probably in all Western countries), it is, if not a crime, at least a sin, to be old. People can make fun of you for being old, and you are supposed to be ashamed of being old. It's not great being an airhead, like Paris Hilton, but it's, like, a hundred times worse to be old.

It was obvious to everyone in North America but me. Because I'm an Oriental, I kept waiting for the insult, and it was right there, in front of my nose. The insult is: You're old, booh!

This reminds me of the time when I first arrived in Montreal and I read on the wall of the metro: "Il est interdit de blasphémer" ; instead of being insulted, I laughed when I heard the local curses: tabernacle, hostie, ciboire, etc... I would probably also laugh if a Haitian witchdoctor threatened me with a voodoo curse.

What I'm trying to say is: People! Go at him with real hurtful insults! Don't just mock him for being old, there's no shame in being old, it's not his fault and you'll be old too (at least, I hope for you that you'll get old). Sheesh! Westerners!

Xe Ôm: Solution au réchauffement planétaire ?

L'édition du Monde de ce matin contient un reportage sur les motos-taxis à Paris : http://tinyurl.com/6cy3um

"Depuis quelques mois, le succès des "moto-taxis" ne se dément pas. "Nous étions 80 en septembre 2007 en Ile-de-France, nous sommes environ 300 aujourd'hui", indique Bader Bourlier, qui, comme tous les pilotes, a créé sa propre société, Shuttle Bike. "En l'absence de législation, nous sommes assimilés aux limousines avec chauffeur. Les compagnies d'assurances exigent au moins cinq ans de permis sans aucun accident", précise-t-il. Rencontré aux abords d'Orly, où il vient de déposer un client, Fabrice, 41 ans, parle volontiers de son métier ; des soirées où il part "à la pêche" de nouveaux clients dans les gares parisiennes, quitte à déclencher "une embrouille" avec les chauffeurs de taxi."

Moto-taxi à Paris

Tout ça, c'est très bien, mais ça ne vous rappelle pas quelque chose?... voyons, heuh .... ça commence par un x...

Xe ôm à Hanoi

S'il y avait des xe ôm à Montréal, comme à Hanoi ou à Saigon, je me débarrasserais tout de suite de ma bagnole.

Singh Is Kinng

Finally, someone famous (beside myself, that is) not from India who loves Bollywood music. From the International Herald Tribune :

The rapper once dubbed "America's Most Loveable Pimp" by Rolling Stone makes his debut in India this summer, with a guest appearance on the title track of a highly anticipated Bollywood movie, "Singh Is Kinng." The movie is set to open in August, but the title song is already in heavy rotation on some radio stations in India.

A fusion of hip-hop and bhangra with a simple chorus ("Singh is Kinng, Singh is Kinng, Singh is Kinng"), it features Snoop Dogg giving "what up to all the ladies hanging out in Mumbai" and rapping about "Ferraris, Bugattis and Maseratis."

Snoop Dogg wears a Sikh turban and an ornate long coat called a sherwani in a video of the title song, which was shot this year in Chicago. Geffen Records owns the distribution rights to the song in the United States and Canada and may release it later this year as part of a compilation.

"I really dig how much music is infused with the movies" in Bollywood, Snoop Dogg said in an e-mailed response to questions. "Lots of hip-hop tracks sample Indian music, and a lot of their music sounds like it was influenced by hip-hop," he said. "We're putting together something real big" in India, that will include collaborations, live shows and "more movies with some of my Bollywood homies."

And here's a video of the tittle song Singh Is Kinng, performed by Akshay Kumar and RDB (Rhythm Dhol Bass), at the 2008 IFFA Awards Ceremony in Bangkok:

Yeah, Sure, Blame The Interpreter!!

Happy Birthday To You, You Piece of Crap!

Gâteau trouvé sur le site Cake Wrecks: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ (via Cynical-C Blog).

Je suppose que c'est ce que dit l'inscription en chinois....

Monday Videos

Great video to start the week: I am Fearless Japanese Female Wrestler, Hear Me Roar! (via Cynical Blog: http://www.cynical-c.com/)



From the comments, I learn that the move is called a suplex.

Another "You Got Served" happening:

Dragon Balls

Director James Wong (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0939128/) is working on a Hollywood version of the Japanese manga Dragon Balls. The film will premiere in 2009, but I can already tell you that it will be a flop with the true Dragon Balls fans, a bit like the Super Mario film.

Look at the pictures of the cast and tell me I'm wrong.

Justin Chatwin is San Goku. Chatwin played the role of Tom Cruise's whiny son in War of the Worlds.

Chow Yunfat is Master Roshi aka Tortue géniale. He's too young and he's not bald. And where's the turtle shell and the sunglasses?

Bulma and Yamcha are played by two unknowns (at least to me). And Bulma's hair is not blue!?

Chi Chi is played by Jamie Chung, another unknown.

This is so sad...

Ponyo On The Cliff By The Sea

Miyazaki's latest masterpiece is called : Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea. Here's the trailer, followed by the master's interview, all in Japanese of course....

From Wikipedia: Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea (崖の上のポニョ Gake no Ue no Ponyo?) is an animated film by the Japanese anime studio Studio Ghibli, to be written and directed by famed anime filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki. It will be Miyazaki's eighth film to be made under Ghibli. The plot centers on a goldfish named Ponyo who desperately wants to be a human. In pursuing her goal, she befriends a five-year-old human boy, Sōsuke. It was released by Toho on July 19, 2008 in theatres across Japan.

Ponyo on the Cliff is inspired by Danish author Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid as well as by the traditional Japanese folktale Urashima Taro. The seaside village where the story takes place is inspired by a real town in Setonaikai National Park in Japan, where Miyazaki stayed in 2004.  The character of Sōsuke is based on Miyazaki's son Gorō Miyazaki when he was five. 

Film's official website: http://www.ghibli.jp/ponyo/

Hayao Miyazaki's website: http://www.nausicaa.net/miyazaki/ponyo/

Summertime And The Living Is Easy

I'm either on my balcony, eating cheese and baguette, or wolfing down seedless lichees and mangoes, with juice running down my chin and my arms, happy like a pig.

Or I'm in the garden with the dog, inspecting my roses and my blue hydrangeas, until it gets too hot, then we both go back into the house for a shower and a nap.

Life doesn't get any better than that.

P.S. I have lots of Columbine seeds. If you want some, email me and I'll send them to you.