Thursday, September 08, 2005

Geek Jokes

I dedicate the following jokes (found at Angry Bear - http://www.angrybear.blogspot.com/ ) to my son Asparagus to cheer him up during his period of sadness:

First Joke:
There are three men on a train. One of them is an economist and one of them is a logician and one of them is a mathematician. And they have just crossed the border into Scotland (I don't know why they are going to Scotland) and they see a brown cow standing in a field from the window of the train (and the cow is standing parallel to the train).
And the economist says, "Look, the cows in Scotland are brown."
And the logician says, "No. there are cows in Scotland of which one at least is brown."
And the mathematician says, "No. there is at least one cow in Scotland, of which one side appears to be brown."
And it is funny because economists are not real scientists, and because logicians think more clearly, but mathematicians are best.

Second joke:
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are each asked to enclose a flock of sheep using the smallest amount of fencing possible. The engineer arranges the fence in a loose circle around the sheep. The physicist arranges the fence in a circle around the sheep, then draws it tight. The mathematician makes a very small circle of fence, steps inside, and declares, "I am on the outside."

Third joke:
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four." Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and whispers "What do you want it to equal?"


In case you're wondering, I don't find any of these jokes funny, either. I guess you have to be a geek. So I'd like to conclude with a geek joke that I do find funny.

Funny Geek joke:
A group of geeks are hanging out in a basement, telling jokes. One of them would say: «32!» and the whole gang would roar in laughter. Another would say «129!» and they would all roll on the floor laughing. Intrigued by the noise, the mother of the hosting geek comes down and asks what they are doing. Her son explains that his group has categorized and numbered the jokes, so that they could be told more efficiently just by calling out the appropriate number. «Oh, says the mother, in that case I have this funny geek joke for you guys» and she calls out randomly: «87!» In the deafening silence, sounds of crickets can be heard. The embarrassed son cries out: «Mo-o-o-o-m! Can't you tell a joke without screwing up the punchline?»

1 comment:

Nebu Pookins said...

In case you're wondering, I don't find any of these jokes funny, either. I guess you have to be a geek.

Alternatively, perhaps the jokes just plain aren't funny. Ever thought of that? Huh? Huh?