Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Healing with a deck of cards


My Mother, aka She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed

Last Sunday, as was our custom, B-Boy and I visited my mother at her retiree home. This time, we found her very agitated. My younger brother has visited her the previous Tuesday to take her do her banking and other errands. But this time, while she was at the bank, he parked on a different street and when she came out from the bank and did not find him, she became upset and had to ask a passerby to call him on his cellphone to come pick her up. She was furious, so furious that when she saw me on Sunday, the first thing she said was: «Let me tell you about that brother of yours». Uh oh..

It took me a long time to calm her down, to soothe her hurt feelings and have her realize that her anger was disproportionate with my brother's alleged crime. That's when I had this great idea, genius that I am. I suspected that her mood swings are getting more and more frequent because she's bored out of her skull. If I had to spend all my days just watching TV and looking forward to the next meal, I would be bored and depressed too. She used to read more, go out more and hang our with her friends. But now, her eyes are not as sharp, she can barely walk without a cane or a walker and her friends are spread out in different old people's homes.

She also used to play a card game called Bai Tu Sac. So my great idea was to buy a pack and ask her to teach me and B-Boy how to play, so that we can have weekly games. I am hoping that by explaining to us the rules of the game, she will exercise her brains more and be less depressed and apathetic.



The Bai Tu Sac (Four colours, in Vietnamese) is a very popular card game in South Vietnam. The deck has 112 cards, divided in 4 sets of colours -- red, white, green and yellow, each set including the various elements of an army: tướng, sĩ, tượng, xe, pháo, mã -- generals, soldiers, elephants, chariots, canons, horses. My mother loved to play tu sac when she was in Vietnam and was quite a good player, I was told. I hope that she still remembers the rules and that she would enjoy playing with beginners like B-Boy and me.

I'll keep you'all informed.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lorsqu'il était encore de ce monde, mon grand-père habitait chez nous, à Paris, aves mes parents et moi. Il était un grand amateur, non pas de Bai Tu Sac, mais de Bai Mat Chuoc (Mah-Jong). Avec mes parents et moi, nous nous suffisâmes à nous mêmes et formions une équipe complète (même si de nombreux Bac' et Chu' venaient régulièrement "hâu` Cu.").
A son âge avancé, mon grand-père perdait souvent la notion du temps. Il ne se souvenait plus par exemple si nous avions déjà dîné ou pas encore. Il lui arrivait de nous poser la même question une dizaine de fois en moins de 10 minutes. Mais je dois dire que je reste jusqu'à aujourd'hui fasciné par sa clairvoyance, sa vivacité stratégique, sa faculté à se concentrer et à se souvenir de quels pièces furent jouées par quels joueurs, dans quelles parties, lorsqu'il est assis à la table de Mat Chuoc. Il était également capable de calculer les points engrangés, ainsi que faire les comptes des jetons avec une parfaite précision.
Vous avez raison. A partir d'un certain âge - d'un âge certain, les loisirs des vieilles personnes deviennent restreints, limités. Faisons donc tout notre possible pour leur procurer une source de joie, source à laquelle ils puissent aspirer, tel un enfant à qui on aurait promis d'aller au zoo Dimanche. Je vous félicite d'avoir pris conscience de cela pour votre mère ainsi que pour votre démarche pro-active auprès d'elle.
La veille du jour où mon grand-père nous a quitté de manière soudaine (93 ans), il avait encore une fois, et pour la dernière fois, triomphé contre nous tous.

Buddhist with an attitude said...

Merci ktr de ce témoignage touchant. Quel plaisir devait avoir eu votre grand-père d'avoir pu flanquer une belle raclée à ses descendants avant de les quitter définitivement!

Anonymous said...

Moi je veux une photo de la fille de cette dame.