My mother has a passive-aggressive relationship with me. She resents me for the present situation she's in: old, sickly, bitter, stuck in an old people's home, etc. but at the same time, she loves me (I think) and needs me, so she cannot really afford to attack me overtly.
For the past few weeks, every time I visit her with her favourite grandson, The B-Boy, she has taken to criticize me for being fat with gratuitous put-downs and potshots. Previously, the recurrent theme of her insults was that I was a loser because I owe a lot of money. Now, I'm fat.
Five weeks ago: My son was telling her about our vacation in Calgary, Alberta, where we did a lot of hiking, walking and mountain climbing. My mother shook her head and said: «It must have been terrible for your poor mother, being so fat and all.» B-Boy: «No, she had no problem, we all went together» Grandma:«No, it's not true, I bet she couldn't keep up.»
Three weeks ago: My son was telling her about the breakdancing courses that he and his girlfriend K8 were giving, adding: «My mom is also taking breakdancing classes from K8». Grandma: «Your mother?! That's not possible, she's too fat!» B-Boy: «No, it's true, she's been breaking for a while now» Grandma: «Noooo! I don't believe you! She's too fat!»
Last week: My son was complaining about having a cold. My mother, who's been waiting impatiently for a chance to mention how fat I am, pounced on the opportunity: «Well, you're too skinny. And speaking of skinny, I'm worried about your mother, 'cause she's obese.»
5 comments:
Chère Lenga,
Moi aussi je souffre de "passive-aggressive personality disorder" en plus de souffir comme ton fils du Syndrome Asperger.
C'est pas drôle je te jure.
Aie! Une autre asperge! Est-ce que tu as aussi l'odorat et l'ouie superdéveloppés, comme mon asperge? Quand je lui ai proposé de consulter des docteurs pour commencer un traitement, mon asperge a dit: "Je veux rester comme je suis, parce que je suis beaucoup plus intelligent que tous ceux qui m'entourent et je crains qu'un traitement ne me rende normal comme eux".
Donc, tu es comme lui, un génie, mais timide et maladroit? C'est pas drôle, en effet. Difficile de trouver l'âme soeur quand on plane si loin au-dessus des autres.
Wait a minute! T'es pas censé m'appeler Lenga, je suis le bouddhiste machin chose!
this blog is awesome! lewis black!! and asian kids giving flowers and then falling on the ground!!!hahah
and article on thich quang duc!!
my family lives on that street
www.vietq.com
tough love huh
I find love a bit painful sometimes.
The love between parents and children, in particular, is loaded with social pressures and unspoken assumptions. Parents are supposed to love their children more than their own life, right? And children are supposed to love and respect their parents and be grateful that they nurtured them and raised them, right? What about karma? The karmic debts and entangled links from previous lives between members of a same family? «Is puzzlement!» as Yul Brynner would say in «The King and I».
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