They never taught me ninja skills in Geneva

As you all know, I am a translator-interpreter, whose duties sometimes involve accompanying statesmen and delegates in their official travels.

I have impeccable credentials (on top of being the most modest and humble person in the world), having studied translation and interpretation in Geneva, Switzerland.

However, I have to hang my head in shame when I learned, via Down and Out in Sàigòn [http://tphcm.blogspot.com/], of the heroic actions taken by a Chinese interpreter to defend the honour of his clients.

«Two foreigners and their Chinese interpreter fought with eight restaurant patrons in Beijing early yesterday morning, and fled the scene after the interpreter stabbed seven of them, Beijing News reported today [http://tinyurl.com/prvv7]

"The two foreigners and their male interpreter just finished paying for their meal, but as they got up to leave the restaurant, eight customers from another table suddenly started shouting at them and began throwing wine bottles and chairs in their direction," said a waiter who witnessed the incident, which occurred at a Xinjiang flavor restaurant around 1am yesterday. The waiter said the foreigners have mustaches and blond hair [As good an explanation as any for the sudden attack].

"I couldn't believe what I was seeing. When I looked at the floor, I saw people badly hurt and bleeding," said the waiter.

However, a relative of the injured people gave another version of what happened.

The interpreter came to the table of 8 and asked them to apologize to the foreigners because the group had "stared at them too long," the relative told the newspaper, quoting a victim.

"Their requirement was refused," said the relative. "The Chinese interpreter relayed the refusal to the foreigners and then he came back to the table and attacked and stabbed three of them, and continued to chase the other five who were trying to escape, stabbing another four."

The seven injured are still in hospital and one is in critical condition, as he was stabbed very close to his heart, said the hospital. The only uninjured male of the eight Chinese customers fled the scene. »

I'm so ashamed! I wasted my time studying at the École de traduction et d'interprétation de l'Université de Genève, where they only taught..well, translation and interpretation. Instead, I should have knelt for weeks under the rain in front of the gate of the Shaolin School of Interpretation and Urban Combat, in order to gain admission and acquire the necessary skills for my profession. I made the wrong choice in life.

To think I could have looked as cool as these two new graduates (Class of 2006).