Thursday, March 16, 2006

Compassion or Commerce? = Cake or Death?


Pictures from Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds (1963)

Releasing animals has been a traditonal practice of Buddhists. This action is probably inspired by the vows to save all beings from suffering, which incidentally also helps the person gain some merits.

When we were still living in Vietnam, my mother, like thousands of other Buddhists, would buy birds, fish or turtles sold at pagodas and set them free. Even at my young age, I was able to point out to her the futility of her gesture, since the people who sold her the animals would immediately catch them back for resale, but of course, what mother would ever listen to her young child, especially in religious matters.

An article in the Washington Post looks at the tradition from a public health point of view:
«.. the tradition, in which devotees seek blessings for this life and the next, could now prove to be a curse. Animal health experts warn that the practice of capturing wild birds, holding them in confined quarters and then turning them over to human hands could spread avian flu among birds, across species and on to people... So far, avian influenza has not been diagnosed in any of the birds released at the temples of Buddhist Asia, from Thailand to Taiwan. But that is only because so few have been tested, according to Martin Gilbert, a field veterinarian with the U.S.-based Wildlife Conservation Society. The virus, which has killed people in at least seven countries, including Cambodia, and infected birds on three continents, has been discovered in some of the same species that are sold in front of Buddhist shrines.

Though the ritual of releasing birds is practiced in several Asian countries with Buddhist populations, the tradition in Cambodia is intertwined not only with religion but national identity. The king frees doves, pigeons and other wild fowl about four times a month -- in especially generous numbers to mark royal birthdays -- and this has complicated efforts to curb the practice.»
But even without the health risks, a tradition which may be valid during the Buddha time doesn't make much sense nowadays. The Buddhist Channel site explains:
The action of releasing birds has by itself sprouted an industry for it. For a religion that talks about compassion, it does seems strange that our actions can bring about an industry that catches birds in the wild, hold them in small and cramped cages (usually with many other birds) and then allowing people to buy and releasing them back to the wild again, just so that we "humans" may feel that we have done a good deed.

One of the methods used by these vendors to catch the birds is to set up a net across the woods. As the bird flies through they get entangled inside it. Many of these nets are not meant for a harmless capture, unlike those used for research. The entangled birds often gets injured or exhaust themselves as they struggle desperately to get free. By the time the bird catcher comes and collects the birds, they are either exhausted or starving. Many either die in the net or while being transported to the market.

Those that live are then stuffed into a cage which hosts many other birds as well, often in unhygienic conditions. We don't even know if the vendors feed the birds at all. Due to the cramped conditions, some of the birds fight among themselves in the cage. Some suffocate or bleed to death because of the fights. By the time anyone comes along to buy these birds for release they would have already suffered for a few days. So, for every bird released, probably five more would have died.

Such acts of cruelty are not just consigned to birds, but also to other species such as fishes, terrapins and tortoises. In order to catch the animals, some vendors would have their habitats destroyed or poisoned, some animals are ripped apart from their flock or have their entire flock killed. Like a lot of marine fish (which are not bred in farms), many of them are caught by locals using dynamites or cyanide poisoning. In the process, their habitats are ruined, which in turn condemns those not caught to suffer and live in a poisoned environment. Many of the shop owners who buy fish and other animals care very little about their habitats or the methods used to catch them. Their main concern, obviously is the bottom line.

The moral argument here is not about being for or against the releasing of animals, but about the economics behind the action, that is, the payment of ransom for their release. Whenever we pay to buy something, we encourage the vendors to continue their trade.

This dilemma is constantly played out with animal conservationalists in areas with a lot of wildlife like Africa. They constantly have to struggle with their personal emotions to refrain from buying a young primate (e.g. gorilla, chimpanzee or gibbon) from the market place because once they do that, it will encourage the sellers to catch more of those animals to sell them to the conservationalists. And to catch these young primates usually means that the parents have to be killed in order to pry them off from their arms. So in effect, by buying an animal off the streets, people are not saving an animal but are rather causing the brutal death of two or more animals.

What about those whose livelihood depends on such sales? Well, life is certainly not easy for anyone caught in such a moral dilemma. It is also hard for a wise and compassionate Buddhist to weight the proper merits of each action. This is something for all concerned to ponder in depth, for there is no easy solution.



References: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/15/AR2006031502198.html
http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=8,1238,0,0,1,0

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Crazy Dog



Just testing the embedding thingie..

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

I am the Dalai Lama's evil twin






=






Did you read about the weird «evil twin» scenario that is being bandied about to explain
the bizarre case of Claude Allen, former top advisor to President Bush, who was arrested a few days ago and booked on shoplifting and fraud charges? The poor man is innocent, his evil twin did it, see? [http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/007891.php]

It made me think how convenient it would be to have an evil twin that can be used as scapegoat every time you're caught doing something you shouldn't be doing. While googling for my evil twin, I found out about the
face recognition programme at the MyHeritage Site (Free registration required) [http://tinyurl.com/z3ptd]. The idea is: you upload your photo and the computer analyzes your facial features and compares your face to that of various celebrities.

MyHeritage Face Recognition program runs in 3 steps:

1. The digital photo (or scanned photo print) that you provide is loaded.
2. Specialized technology is applied to automatically detect human faces in your photo.
3. Additional technology is applied to recognize the faces detected in the previous step.

Recognizing faces is done by algorythms that compare the faces in your photo with all faces previously known to the face recognition program, through photos and meta-data contributed by yourself and other users. So the more photos are added to the system, the more powerful it becomes. If people in your photos are not recognized well, it is likely that the program has never encountered them before. If more people add their photos to MyHeritage.com database and annotate them manually, the program will «learn» these faces and will be able to recognize them in future photos, even in different ages of the same person's life.

My results? Believe it or not, I look like: Naomi Watts, Paris Hilton, Kate Hudson, George Soros, Julia Roberts, HH The Dalai Lama, Zhang Ziyi and Madonna. Yes!

I realize of course that a one-time trial cannot yield conclusive results and I probably should upload more pictures to get a decent comparison. Still, there doesn't even seem to be any similarities in the list of faces I was associated with (Julia Roberts and Paris Hilton??!!WTF??!), unless you consider «human» to be a valid common characteristic.

Heck, they might as well say I look like these people:



In the meantime, Your Holiness, if you ever need an evil twin to blame some shit on, you can count on me.

I for one welcome our new Snowclone Overlords



My son Asparagus has been teaching me about the Internet/Slashdot culture, language, jokes, etc.. Stuff I've learned: «All your bases are belong to us», «Pwned», the use of «teh», etc..

Since the start of my education, Asparagus and I have been exchanging various types of jokes based on these expressions, as a practical exercice. He particularly likes to take my most inocuous statements and fling them back to me in variations of the famous Smirnoff's joke "In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you!", the more nonsensical the better.

Imagine my surprise and delight to find this sentence while reading a list of Robert Green Ingersoll's quotations:

«Honest investigation is utterly impossible within the pale of any church, for the reason that, if you think the church is right you will not investigate, and if you think it wrong, the church will investigate you.» -- Robert Green Ingersoll, "Individuality" (1873)

Shade of Smirnoff, don't you think? Anyway, if like me, you are interested in/intrigued by the new Internet literati's parlance, go to these sites: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_memes and http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/

It's from the last website that I learned the concept of «Snowclones» [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowclone]. I used to try to slip in the word «Entropy» in all my conversations. From now on, it's gonna be «Snowclones» and «Internet memes».

Monday, March 13, 2006

I'm surprised they haven't fired me yet

This is a baggy dog

My English is so bad, and I think the problem is that I don't really know and understand the words. Instead I think in French in my head, then try to translate the thoughts in English, at the speed of sound, if not of light. Since the words are not equated to meaning but are just sounds to me, I sometimes switch the order of the words, without realizing how weird the new combination sounds. It's a sort of a verbalized dyslexia. Examples of the funny stuff I say:
  • baggy dog, instead of doggy bag
  • crooks and nannies, instead of nooks and crannies
  • covey doover, instead of duvet cover

Vive la Révolution!


Mon ami Bernouille et moi discutons ce matin de l'obligation pour la population de payer les frais d'avocats de Chrétien et Cie pour l'enquête Gomery. Bernouille est révolté à cette idée, alors que je suis plutôt résignée:

- Oeuf corse, Bernouille, le peuple va casquer. Les politichiens ne payent jamais rien de leurs poches!
- Si le peuple accepte ça, c'est qu'il a les dirigeants qu'il mérite.
- Mon pauvre Bernouille, le peuple a perdu le pouvoir depuis longtemps! Depuis que la «démocratie» a été acceptée comme système de gouvernement en Occident. Tous les gouvernements dans les pays développés sont des variantes du même régime, à savoir l'alternance entre le parti Bandit et le parti Escroc. Ils vont à tour de rôle s'assoir sur le trône pour se remplir les poches et trouver du travail à leurs familles et leurs amis. Certains sont plus discrets et plus subtils que d'autres, mais en bout de ligne, ils sont tous, tous sans exception, des loups pour les moutons qui les ont élus en pensant bêtement que leurs intérêts seraient défendus.

Bernouille reste inconsolable. Je lui explique que c'est à tous les niveaux. D'ailleurs plus le type en position d'autorité est bas placé, plus il veut imposer son arbitraire. Il n'y a pire tyran qu'un gardien de parking, par exemple. Une fois, j'ai eu maille à partir avec une préposée à la mini-bibliothèque qui existait autrefois à la station de métro McGill. J'avais perdu un livre emprunté et j'ai dû payer le prix fort pour le remplacer. Fair enough, ce n'est que justice. Mais voilà: deux jours après avoir payé l'amende, je retrouve le bouquin. Je l'apporte toute fière à la biblio avec mon reçu et je tends le bouquin à la bonne femme en question, à qui je demande qu'on me rembourse l'amende.

- Ah non, dit-elle, on ne rembourse pas les amendes. Vous avez égaré un livre, l'amende sert à son rachat.
- D'accord, mais c'était il y a seulement deux jours. Vous n'avez pas eu le temps de racheter le livre et je viens de vous le remettre. Je veux bien payer une amende pour le retard, mais pas pour le prix du livre.
- Ah oui, c'est ben de valeur, mais Dura Lex Sed Lex.
- Donc, si je comprends bien, votre dura lex c'est de me faire payer un livre qui n'est plus perdu, puisque vous le tenez en main. Vous avez à la fois le beurre et l'argent du beurre?
- Ben oui, désolée. C'est comme ça.

Okaaaay. Je lui fais un beau sourire, et le lendemain je suis revenue emprunter un beau livre d'art que je n'ai jamais rendu. Je l'ai encore chez moi. Il y a eu une ou deux lettres de rappel, que j'ai mises à la poubelle, puis la mini-bibliothèque a fermé ses portes.

Ai-je mal fait? Et comment! Je me suis appropriée quelque chose qui ne m'appartenait pas, j'ai privé les autres lecteurs de la possibilité de lire le livre et j'ai peut-être contribué à la fermeture d'un service public très utile. Est-ce que je regrette ce que j'ai fait? Absolument pas!

Le peuple est complètement impuissant dans une démocratie. On lui fait croire qu'il a le choix, mais choisir entre la peste ou le choléra n'est pas un choix. Les résidents de Mirabel se sont fait prendre leurs terrains pour un aéroport qui est maintenant fermé. Les contribuables de Montréal se sont fait imposer un stade olympique qui était censé être financièrement autonome mais dont ils payent encore le coût. Sans parler du grand parc construit dans une banlieue de Shanghai, pour le bonheur des quelques centaines de Chinois qui l'ont visité. Et que dire de la fusion des municipalités que le gouvernement a enfoncée dans la gorge des citoyens? Démocratie? Je crache dessus! Ptoui!

Ah ! ça ira, ça ira, ça ira,
Les aristocrates à la lanterne ;
Ah ! ça ira, ça ira, ça ira,
Les aristocrates on les pendra ;
Et quand on les aura tous pendus,
On leur fichera la pelle au c...

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Victory for the Victims

I went with a friend today to visit Galerie Noel Guyomarc'h on Laurier St. One of my favourite artists who has a permanent exhibit there is Barbara Stutman. Ms Stutman's signature technique is to spool-knit and crochet silver and other coloured metallic wires into sculptural necklaces, bracelets, brooches, etc. I was presented with a brooch from a previous collection, called Portrait of a rape victim (no.3 in the pictures below - http://tinyurl.com/qty88). Holding the piece in my hand, I was stricken by the deepest feeling of despair and helplessness. It was the saddest piece of jewelry I have ever seen, and yet so beautiful and powerful in its sincerity.


Here are the names of all the pieces: 1. Maintaining the status quo, 2. Raped, 3. Portrait of a rape victim, 4. Dark cloud from the past. The idea of turning a tragedy into jewelry is an admirable concept, in my opinion. When you cannot change a catastrophic event in your past, instead of letting that event define your future, you can proudly display your scars for the world to see, as one way of spitting in the face of your persecutor - be it man or fate - and showing that, by refusing to be destroyed, you are victorious after all.

That's what Ali Shalal Qaissi has decided to do. Remember him? He's the man under the hood in the infamous picture from the Abu Ghraib prison.

According to the New York Times [http://tinyurl.com/lwwjw], Mr. Qaissi «was arrested in October 2003, he said, because he loudly complained to the military, human rights organizations and the news media about soldiers' dumping garbage on a local soccer field. But some of his comments suggest that he is at least sympathetic toward insurgents who fight American soldiers. "Resistance is an international right," he said. Weeks after complaining about the garbage, he said, he was surrounded by Humvees, hooded, tied up and carted to a nearby base before being transferred to Abu Ghraib. Then the questioning began...»

«Mr. Qaissi is today a self-styled activist for prisoners' rights in Iraq. Shortly after being released from Abu Ghraib in 2004, he started the Association of Victims of American Occupation Prisons with several other men immortalized in the Abu Ghraib pictures». This is his calling card:



«Financed partly by Arab nongovernmental organizations and private donations, the group's aim is to publicize the cases of prisoners still in custody, and to support prisoners and their families with donations of clothing and food.

Mr. Qaissi has traveled the Arab world with his computer slideshows and presentations, delivering a message that prisoner abuse by Americans and their Iraqi allies continues. He says that as the public face of his movement, he risks retribution from Shiite militias that have entered the Iraqi police forces and have been implicated in prisoner abuse. But that has not stopped him.

Last week, he said, he lectured at the American University in Beirut, on Monday he drove to Damascus to talk to students and officials, and in a few weeks he heads to Libya for more of the same.

Despite the cruelty he witnessed, Mr. Qaissi said he harbored no animosity toward America or Americans. "I forgive the people who did these things to us," he said. "But I want their help in preventing these sorts of atrocities from continuing."»

He is free from fear and hatred. I call that a victory.


Update on 16-03-2006:

Salon [http://tinyurl.com/qg95w] has now raised some doubts about the accuracy of the NY Times' article.

«In an e-mail interview, a spokesman for CID [US Army's Criminal Investigation Command] confirmed that investigators had concluded the photograph shown on the front page of the Times was not Qaissi. "We have had several detainees claim they were the person depicted in the photograph in question," the CID spokesman told Salon. "Our investigation indicates that the person you have cited from the NY Times is not the detainee who was depicted in the photograph."

Ethan Bronner, the deputy foreign editor of the Times, said the newspaper was now investigating the possibility that two people were depicted in the photographs. He said the newspaper was no longer certain that the picture it ran on the front page depicted Qaissi. "Serious legitimate questions have been raised," Bronner said...

A lawyer representing Qaissi confirmed to Salon Monday night that the Times had made a mistake. "He [Qaissi] believes that there are two different people depicted in the photographs," said Jonathan Pyle, of Burke Pyle LLC. "Ali believes that the picture of himself is the one with his arms pointed diagonally down." Qaissi uses this photograph on his business card.»

Friday, March 10, 2006

New Hair


OK, so I went to the hair salon to have my hair done. I forbid you to laugh. Grrrr!

Journée de la femme - Suite et fin


Nooooon! C'est pas vrai!!?? Je défaille!


Quoi!!!??? Oh non! Les pauvres femmes!!! Je défaille itou!

Bon, allez, c'est fini! On n'en parle plus de la Journée de la femme. Jusqu'à l'année prochaine...

Thursday, March 09, 2006

It's a new world


Once in a while, I stumble upon a new piece of information, a new concept or a new voice, and my head spins and my heart beats faster; it's like falling in love! And it doesn't take much either. For example, look at what I just found at http://www.diacritic.org/blog/:

The poster has this comment, which I find amazing: «Of the top ten spoken languages, it is split evenly between European and non-European. Factoring in colonialization, at least half of the world's largest nations have been colonial subjects at some point in their history and very few on the list have been major colonizers (although some on the list have been both colonizers and colonized, China for example). Of the major European colonizers: Great Britain, Spain, Netherlands, Portugal, Belgium, France, none make the largest nations list. In fact, surpassing Germany in the last several years, Vietnam is now larger than every European nation.» The mind she boggles.



The same blog also directed me to this definition of «Vietnamese» at the Urban Dictionary site: http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Vietnamese:

1. n. Used to identify people who are from Vietnam. They often are quiet and hardworking individuals. Most common last names are Nguyen, Tran, and Le.
Ex: I live in a Vietnamese neighborhood.

2. A special breed of beings who are patient, hard working, smart, courageous, determined, respectful, and all that forged in their blood. They have survived and won many, many wars in the past thousand years. They have overcome numerous obstacles other people would fail attempting to pass it. The bigger the obstacle the tougher they get. Almost the perfect warrior.
Ex: In the game of life it's the survival of the fittest. The Vietnamese are born survivors.

3.
A noble and intelligent race.
Ex: Just by the way that he presents himself, he must be Vietnamese!

4. A person from Viet Nam. Mostly F.O.B's but we crazy.
Ex: Damn that Vietnamese foo can fight.

For some reasons, they forgot to mention that the Vietnamese are also a modest and humble race. Shameless!!!!

La Journée de la Femme


Même cadeau que pour la Fête des mères!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

God: «I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!»

«Somebody stop me before I smite his bony ass!»


By Terry Jones, Wednesday March 8, 2006: http://tinyurl.com/elbqw
Terry Jones is a film director, actor and Python alumnus

A high-level leak has revealed that God is "furious" at Tony Blair's attempts to implicate him in the bombing of Iraq. Sources close to the archangel Gabriel report him as describing the Almighty as "hopping mad ... with sanctimonious yet unscrupulous politicians claiming He would condone their bestial activities when He has no way of going public Himself, owing to the MMW agreement" (a reference to the long-established Moving in Mysterious Ways concordat).

Mr Blair went public about God on Michael Parkinson's TV show. "If you have faith about these things," he said, "then you realise that judgment is made by other people. If you believe in God, it's made by God as well." As is customary with Mr Blair's statements, it's rather hard to tease out what he is actually saying; but the gist is clearly that if God didn't actually tell him to bomb Iraq, then the Almighty would certainly agree it was the right thing to do.

"If Tony Blair thinks his friendship with George W Bush is worth rubbing out a couple of hundred thousand Iraqi men, women and children, then that's something he can talk over with me later," said God. "But when he starts publicly claiming that's the way I do the arithmetic too, it's time I put my foot down!" It is well known that God has a very big foot.

A source says Gabriel has spent days trying to dissuade the Almighty from loosing a plague of toads upon the Blair family. Gabriel reminded God that Cherie and the children had nothing to do with Tony's decisions. God's response, it is reliably reported, was: "Blair says the Iraqis are lucky to have got bombed, so how can he complain if his family gets a few toads in the bath?"

The archangel is said to be ticked off with God's ability to provide glib answers without even thinking.

What has particularly incensed the Almighty is that Mr Blair made the claim on the Parkinson show. "If he'd done it on Richard and Judy I could have forgiven a lot," He is reported to have said.

The archangel reported that the Almighty has become increasingly irritated with the vogue for politicians to claim that He is behind their policies - especially if these involve killing large numbers of humans. According to Gabriel, God spake these words: "That George W Bush once had the nerve to say: 'God told me to go end the tyranny in Iraq, and I did.' Well, let me tell you I did no such thing! If I'd wanted to get rid of Saddam Hussein, I could have given him pneumonia. I didn't need the president of the United States to send in hundreds of heavy bombers and thousands of missiles to destroy Iraq - even though I appreciate that Halliburton needed to fill its order books."

"How do Bush and Blair think it makes me look to all those parents who have lost sons and daughters in this grubby business? Don't they know that the Muslims they're taking out worship the same Me that they do? It's a public relations disaster that ought to set Christianity back hundreds of years. Though knowing the fundamentalists, it'll probably have the reverse effect."

The archangel further revealed that he had been advised by no less a person than Alastair Campbell to warn God to keep out of politics. "But it's hard to get God to do anything He doesn't want to," sighed the archangel. "It's all to do with what He calls 'free will', though a lot of us have a problem working that one out, since He's omnipotent and omniscient."

God, the archangel says, is also disturbed by Mr Blair's remark that while religious beliefs might colour his politics, "it's best not to take it too far".

"How would he like it if I went round claiming that he gave me his full backing when I sent the tsunami last year?"

International Women's Day

Picture from http://www.pathfind.org/pf/Journey/viet%20nam/ao_dai.htm

This year, as every year, my place of work celebrates International Women's Day by making the women (not the men) dress up in their national garb and listen to long speeches read by men, then time for some chips and photo-ops. The invitation message was quite clear: «You are requested to be seated by 2:50 p.m. at the latest, prior to the arrival of our guest speakers and guests of honour». I guess it's the paternalistic tone of the order that steams my rice. So I got to work this morning in my usual garb (Same Old Sicilian Widow Look) and look forward to not sitting in the auditorium waiting for the VIPs.

International Women's Day, like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine, etc... are all artificially created dates, the purpose of which is to make society reflect on the significance of the corresponding symbols. However, whatever you do that day is a unique gesture that will not be repeated during the rest of the year. And even that unique gesture doesn't have much impact on the welfare of the people being celebrated. In the case of the Women's Day, it's going to be the same old, same old routine. Women will still be paid less than men, will be doing most, if not all the chores in the house, including raising children, and will continue to be raped, beaten, bullied, despised, deprived of education and otherwise treated like sub-humans by men.

So this year, I will skip the speeches and try to be useful instead. Because women are still not allowed to have complete control over their bodies, I am reproducing below instructions for an abortion, as posted by Molly on her blog Molly Saves The Day [http://tinyurl.com/ne5bb]. This is not for the faint of heart, but if you disapprove because of some teachings from an abstract deity, I have to tell you that I don't care, I'm not posting this for you.
In the 1960s and early 1970s, when abortions were illegal in many places and expensive to get, an organization called Jane stepped up to the plate in the Chicago area. Jane initially hired an abortion doctor, but later they did the abortions themselves. They lost only one patient in 13,000 -- a lower death rate than that of giving live birth. The biggest obstacle they had, though, was the fact that until years into the operation, they thought of abortion as something only a doctor could do, something only the most trained specialist could perform without endangering the life of the woman.

They were deceived -- much like you have probably been deceived. An abortion, especially for an early pregnancy, is a relatively easy procedure to perform. And while I know, women of South Dakota, that you never asked for this, now is the time to learn how it is done. There is no reason you should be beholden to doctors -- especially in a state where doctors have been refusing to perform them, forcing the state's only abortion clinic to fly doctors in from elsewhere.

No textbooks or guides existed at that time to help them, and the equipment was hard to find. This is no longer true. For under $2000, any person with the inclination to learn could create a fully functioning abortion setup allowing for both vacuum aspiration and dilation/curettage abortions. If you are careful and diligent, and have a good grasp of a woman's anatomy you will not put anyone's health or life in danger, even if you have not seen one of these procedures performed.

Today, I will discuss dilation and curettage -- what used to be the most common abortion procedure before vacuum aspiration took its place. Vacuum aspiration is an easier method, but sometimes remaining fetal/placental material necessitates doing a "cleanup" D&C anyway, so you should know how to do this procedure first.

DISCLAIMER: I am posting this as information only. Whether anyone chooses to act upon this information is their own concern. I believe in the free exchange of information and ideas. I believe this information has been kept from women for too long, and there is no reason they should not know about a procedure being performed on their own body, and no reason women should be kept in the dark about how to perform it -- especially if someone they know is having their health jeopardized by this law.

Instruments needed and their uses

You will need:

One set of uterine dilators (any equipment may be purchased from numerous websites. If you need assistance in finding this equipment, do not hesitate to email me at molly.blythe@gmail.com)
Vaginal speculum
Pregnancy test
One set of uterine curettes
One pair of uterine forceps
One pair of regular forceps
Sterile bags for medical instruments and medical waste
A course of antibiotics
Sedative medication
Pressure cooker
Container of bleach solution: one part chlorine bleach to 10 parts water
Strong soap
Sterile latex gloves
Water-based lubricant
Maxi pads
Clean plastic sheeting and towels
Exam table
Wet wipes

First, let's talk instruments, before we talk implementation:

Cervical dilators come in many forms. Some hydroscopic dilators work by absorbing moisture from the vagina into the dilator, gradually increasing its diameter until it is workable. However, the "old-fashioned" way is with a set of dilators -- metal instruments of varying sizes. It would probably be best for an illegal practitioner to use these, as they are essentially infinitely reusable as long as they are sterilized between uses. Essentially, the practitioner begins with the smallest instrument and inserts it into the cervix. Then, he or she moves on to the next smallest, and so forth, until the cervix is sufficiently dilated to allow the uterine forceps to be used. This is the easiest part of the abortion, and one that requires very little knowledge other than the placement of the cervix.

Uterine forceps look like a hybrid of a scissor handle and a bird of prey's talon. Their use, once the cervix is dilated enough to allow access to the uterus, is simple: they remove the fetal material from the uterus -- as much as can be removed in this manner.

Curettes are perhaps the most foreign-looking of the implements used. Essentially, they look like small spoons with sharp edges. These are used after the uterine forceps, to make sure the rest of the fetal material and placenta is scraped from the sides of the uterus.

A course of antibiotics is CRUCIAL. The most common cause of death post-illegal abortion is due to infection. When your uterus has been opened up, it is more prone to infection. Do not fool around with this: antibiotics are absolutely necessary post-abortion. Antibiotics can be purchased from Mexican pharmaceutical supply houses for less than $2 per course.

Now that we've discussed the more uncommon instruments, let's move on to discussing the procedure itself.

Procedure

Sterilizing instruments is absolutely critical. The most professional way to sterilize instruments would be with an autoclave -- but this is something to get only if you have an extra few hundred dollars to spend in the name of efficiency. Sterilization is no joke, and nothing to be skimped on, but you can sterilize instruments very well with a household pressure cooker. Ordinary boiling water does not kill all pathogens; while boiling water was the best people could do 100 years ago, it is not the best we can do now. Check your pressure cooker's manual carefully and figure out how much water needs to be placed in it to stay at 250-260 degrees for 30 minutes. Be sure to refer carefully to the manual, or injury and damage to the cooker could result. Place the water and instruments into the pressure cooker and allow it to "cook" them for 30 minutes at the 250-260 temperature. This will steam-sterilize your instruments. If you have an autoclave, lucky you! Follow its operating instructions.

Assuming you have no autoclave, follow the instructions for opening your pressure cooker, then remove the instruments with an already-sterilized pair of ordinary forceps. set them in the sterile bags. Now your instruments are prepared. From now on, be sure to only touch the instruments on the handle side, rather than on the side coming into contact with the cervix and uterus. Wipe down your table with bleach solution, allow it to dry, and then place clean plastic sheeting over it.

Your patient should be naked from the waist down and should have her pubic area shaved. Request that the patient does so the night before. Administer a sedative to the patient long enough before the procedure begins that it will be fully effective during the D&C procedure. Prior to the procedure, conduct an ordinary pregnancy test on the woman. This may seem like a silly step, but pregnancy tests are never 100% accurate, and women have been known to come to abortion clinics and test negative. Ask your patient how long it has been since her last period. If it has been eight weeks or less, the procedure itself will take less than 15 minutes after dilation begins. The length grows, however, until at about 13-14 weeks (the limit for a D&C procedure because of the limited dilation ability of dilators) it will last up to 45 minutes. Honesty is IMPERATIVE, because dishonesty could endanger the woman's health.

Once the patient has "assumed the position" in the stirrups, wipe the vulva and anal areas with separate wet wipes, including the labia majora and minora. Once the patient is clean, lubricate the vagina with water-based lubricant and use the vaginal speculum to open the vagina and examine the cervix (information on how to use a speculum properly is widely available online and in print and does not need to be reprinted here, but please be sure you understand how to use the speculum prior to conducting this procedure).

The cervix is a small, round, smooth-looking muscle at the top of the vaginal canal. Please be sure to familiarize yourself with the female reproductive system prior to performing any procedure such as this. The cervix is the entrance to the uterus. A non-pregnant uterus is only as big as a small pear, but it grows bigger even in the earliest months of pregnancy -- at 8 weeks, it is the size of a peach, and at 14 weeks, the size of a grapefruit. I didn't make up all these fruit-sizing terms, other people did, and I apologize for making anyone uncomfortable whilst eating fruit salad from now on.

It is important to know the approximate size of the uterus because that's where you're headed. Get out your smallest dilator and insert it slowly and gently into the cervix. This hurts -- it's part of why your patient is sedated. Novocaine is sometimes injected to numb the cervix, but when you are just starting, it is probably preferable to stay away from needles entirely. Insert each dilator in turn. Even the largest dilator, as you will notice, doesn't give you very much room -- less than an inch of opening. There's no way you can see into the uterus. From here on out -- this is the scary part -- you will have to operate on feel alone. Don't feel too afraid. Each element in the uterus feels different from the others, and as long as you are careful and understand exactly what the procedure involves at each step, it will not be too difficult.

The first step is to break the membrane holding the fetus inside. You can feel around with the forceps for it. To get an idea of what each part looks like -- and to see the texture so that you understand better how it will feel -- I recommend looking at books with photographs of first trimester fetuses (personal recommendation for its astonishing photographs: A Child is Born), The membrane should be easily broken with the forceps. Depending on how far along the pregnancy is, varying quantities of clear or pinkish fluid may come from the vagina. As you grasp the sac with your forceps, twist it away so that it detaches. You will now need to remove small pieces of fetal material and membrane from the uterus with the forceps. Some of these pieces will be distinctly identifiable as fetal material. Save the material until the end of the procedure on a piece of plastic, so that you can be sure the entire fetus has been removed. If doing this sounds too ethically challenging, remember that fetuses do not have the capacity to feel actual pain until the third trimester. You are not "hurting" it, and it has no awareness, nor the capacity for awareness, that you are extracting it.

This portion of the abortion procedure should not be particularly painful for the patient.

While you are removing fetal material, you will also be removing pieces of placenta. However, because the placenta is attached to the uterine wall -- and because it is the blood source for the baby -- bleeding may begin at this time. It is imperative that if bleeding begins at this point in the procedure, you do NOT stop. Stopping the procedure and attempting to stanch the bleeding will not work. The bleeding will stop on its own once the placenta is totally removed from the uterus. It may be scary, but keep going.

Once you have removed most of the material that is removable, you must move on to curettage. By now you will have felt the walls of the uterus with the forceps, and you must move on to using the spoon-shaped curettes. Find the spot on the uterine wall where placenta still clings -- the curette will make a sound much like metal on metal on a clean uterine wall, but will not make the same scraping sound on a place that still needs material removed. Scrape from the uterine walls, scraping material toward the cervix. Use the same general form of stroke you would use to scoop ice cream, and don't be afraid to scrape fairly hard. Scraping softly could leave tissue behind, and if there's anything you don't want, it's that. The other cue that will inform you the uterus is clean is that the patient will generally report feeling a cramp when the clean uterus is scraped, whereas a scrape of placenta will not feel as painful. Listen to your patient and listen to your curettes.

Once the material is removed from the uterine wall, any excess bleeding will generally slow or stop and it's uterine forceps time again. Take the remaining material out with the forceps. Most pieces of fetal material will come out with a simple tug on the forceps (again, don't be too afraid to use force and put a bit of muscle into it). However, at 13-14 weeks the fetal head may be slightly big to bring out. Pinch it with the forceps and take it out in pieces, as well. Make absolutely sure all bone fragments are removed from the uterus, as well as all other material. If necessary, use the curette again to remove remaining material and repeat the procedure with forceps.

By this point, bleeding should be no more than in a normal period, and likely quite a bit less. If the patient is still bleeding heavily at this point, get her to a hospital -- it means you likely did not curette completely, and the hospital will generally complete the procedure as her life is assuredly in danger.

When you feel the curettage and removal is complete, make sure you examine the fetal material you have already extracted. If you're missing anything obvious -- for instance, a head -- make sure to find and remove it.

Allow your patient to rest comfortably on the table if she wishes, or to get dressed. She will likely have some residual bleeding, so make sure you have maxi pads on hand (I would not risk infection from tampons so soon after the procedure). Give her the course of antibiotics and stress to her how imperative it is that she use them as directed. Make sure that she understands any bleeding or problems means she needs to call 911 immediately. When she is ready, allow her to leave -- if sedated, do not allow her to drive home herself. Follow up in a few days and make sure she is not experiencing much bleeding or pain.

-------

I will be following up this article with directions for performing vacuum aspiration for first-trimester pregnancies and inducing miscarriages for later ones. I hope this can prove educational for the next generation of women, who may have to start a second Jane program. I am sorry we live in times where it is necessary to publish this material, but if women work together, an abortion ban doesn't mean that women and girls are left with no choices.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Brokeback LightHouse


The first club for homosexuals just opened in Hanoi. The founder's interview is reproduced below, from: http://english.vietnamnet.vn/social/2006/03/547479/

VietNamNet – Hai Dang Club for homosexuals has been established by Pham Thi Nga, Director of the Sexually-transmitted Diseases and HIV/AIDS Control Centre in Hanoi.

Why did you establish the club?

Vietnamese society has erroneous views, condemning, and discriminating against homosexuals. I’ve met with many homosexual people and listened to their stories and I think that it’s time for us to change our views. Homosexuals need sympathy and support from the community, which is the reason Hai Dang Club was established.

In Vietnam, homosexuality is a sensitive issue. Did you face difficulties setting up the club?

Many! We had to wait a long time for approval. Some people who knew of our plan protested. But the most difficult thing was homosexual people, who are afraid about disclosing the truth about themselves to their families. Some worry that they will be letting their parents down, and believe it would be better to live in the dark for their whole lives rather than revealing their sexuality. We want to help young people to be brave enough to tell their families.

How are you attracting patrons to Hai Dang Club?

We had to spend several months going to places where homosexuals gather in Hanoi to mobilize them. Initially they refused and did not want to show up. Finally some accepted our invitation. Hai Dang now has 25 members, most young people.

What is the meaning of Hai Dang?

Hai Dang means lighthouse. The Hai Dang Club wants to be a lighthouse to light the way for homosexual people to surmount the storm of HIV/AIDS.

How does the club benefit members?

Coming to the club, young people will have a chance to meet, exchange, and learn information about health, social, cultural, and sporting issues and take part in other group activities. In addition, club members also spread knowledge of HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, and charity activities through club activities. Joining the club, many feel their life is more meaningful.

There are many homosexual people in HCM City and some big cities. Do you plan to expand the system of clubs for them?

This is a project funded by the International Family Health Organisation. If we have money, we will expand. We firstly plan to design a website for homosexual people so those who cannot directly join the club can exchange information via the website. In addition, individuals who need consultancy can contact us via phone (7366653).

This is a club for gay men, not women. Will a club for lesbians follow?

I cannot answer at present but we are ready to help lesbians through free, confidential services of consulting, HIV testing, examination, and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases. Members of Hai Dang Club are students, artists, and volunteers. We want to reach others who are difficult to approach, such as workers and office employees, and I also hope our members will be added to the National HIV/AIDS Control Programme.


When the Vietnamese Prime Minister Phan Van Khai came to Canada for a visit in June 2005, the bill for same-sex marriage was being debated in Ottawa and Prime Minister Khai was asked for his opinion. He laughed and said: We don't have that problem in Vietnam. There are no homosexuals in my country. Or at least very few.

The many varieties of Asians

Painting by Tran Hui Hoang

Although my sons are of Oriental heritage, they were born in North America and know little about their ethnic culture. I call them Bananas, yellow outside, white inside. But nowadays, thanks to immigration and globalization, there are more and more Orientals living in non-Oriental settings. FOB is a general term used for them, i.e. Fresh Off The Boat. However, the urban terminology has many varieties of these Asian specimens. This is how to recognize them. [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fob]

Twinkie

  • Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
  • Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
  • You have few Asian friends, if any
  • You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you
  • You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist
  • You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is
  • You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is
  • You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock

Asian-American

  • You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you're whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere.
  • You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any
  • You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college
  • You read A. magazine and think it's great
  • You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, or Kangta are
  • You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below

Yap (Young Asian Professional)

  • You are in one of these professions:
    • a) Medicine / Pharmaceutical
    • b) Engineering
    • c) Finance
    • d) Investment Banking
    • e) Accounting
  • Most of your wardrobe was purchased at Banana Republic
  • You go to "mixers" on Thursday nights to meet other Yaps and talk about the Dow Jones.
  • You did exactly what your parents wanted you to do and as a result, your life is hella boring
  • Your apartment/home is decorated almost exclusively with stuff from Pier 1
  • Your parents always talk to their friends about how much money you make. If they don't, then you're a disappointment

Fob (Fresh Off the Boat)

  • You were not born in America
  • You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, and Kangta are. In fact, you have seen them at Atlantic City or Las Vegas recently
  • You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends
  • You do not have any non-Asian friends
  • Your parents do not speak any English
  • When you speak English, you like to make everything plural
  • You get extremely good grades in school
  • You cannot dance
  • Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you're from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe

SuperFob

  • Your command of the English language is minimal and you don't care
  • You like dim sum chicken feet
  • You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn't bootlegged
  • Your only hangout is Chinatown
  • All the lights in your house are fluorescent
  • You dry your cloths outside your window
  • You need a haircut
  • You either smell like cigarettes or food

Fobabee

  • You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently "awoken"
  • You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
  • You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
  • You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white (Twinkie; Banana) or Black (Chigger; Tea egg)
  • If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous

Gangsta Fob (Fobsta)

  • You have shot another Asian
  • Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
  • When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
  • Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you'll shoot them
  • You have a serious gambling problem
  • You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
  • No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you'll shoot them
  • You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs

Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)

  • You shop at A/X, Bebe and Club Monaco
  • You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to "mix it up"
  • You do not weigh more than 105 lbs
  • You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
  • Platform heels are your favorite
  • You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
  • You do not smile in public
  • You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
  • You smoke
  • Your cell phone is completely customized
  • On the inside flip of your cell phone is a sticker pic of you and your man
  • Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
  • You only date Asians and will only date a boy with a nice car
  • You are often seen with Rice-boys
  • You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend

Hoochie Tab

  • You are an import car model
  • Your boobs are not real
  • There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere
  • Stiletto heels are your favorite
  • Your role models are Francine Dee and Kaila Yu
  • Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
  • You cheat on your boyfriend
  • Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school

Rice-Boy

  • You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
  • Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it's original stock form
  • Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in
  • The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing
  • The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing
  • You always drive like you are racing someone
  • You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
  • The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground
  • Even though your car is a Honda, it goes faster and is worth more than a Lotus Esprit
  • If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have). Poor Rice-boy.

Fobulous

  • You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
  • You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
  • You listen to Asian pop as well as American music
  • You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture
  • You are a good dancer
  • You date Asians by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race
  • You are a good designer and have superior Html skills
  • You have an Apt107 page AND an AA page and the guest books in both are packed
  • For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being
  • You have lots of Asian pride

Pob

  • A Filipino fob.
  • Words that start with F tend to be pronounced with a P. (Fuck you..Pobarized version: PUCK you)
  • FUll accent
    • "Lets go take some sticker pickiez la! xD Kekezzz"
    • "Puck you mother pucker!"

Monday, March 06, 2006

Rebuttal from the White House

In reply to my previous post about - and I paraphrase - Bush's evilness, the White House has sent me this recent picture of the US President, to prove his compassion and generosity. I stand corrected.

Paris by Night



A friend sent me this url [Thank you Sam!]. Go to http://framboise781.free.fr/Paris.htm , click on the left or right arrows at the bottom or drag the thin rectangular thingie left or right, and enjoy a fantastic panoramic view of Paris by night..

Sunday, March 05, 2006

L'homme est un loup pour l'homme

Picture taken from: Jesus' General: http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/


From CNN: http://tinyurl.com/jhqaw

President Bush opened his second term Thursday with a promise to the people of the United States and the world - - vowing to promote democracy both at home and abroad.
"It is the policy of the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world," Bush said in his inaugural address after his swearing-in ceremony... Former White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, who served in Bush's first term, said that the president's words would bring hope to people around the world.

From the US Department of Defense: http://tinyurl.com/fzgcb

Vice President Dick Cheney urged European allies to join with the United States in spreading democracy and the rule of law in the Middle East.... Cheney said experience shows that democratic institutions give people a sense of empowerment and a way to peacefully chart their own courses. "Democracies do not breed the anger and radicalism that drag down whole societies and export violence," he said. "Terrorists do not find fertile recruiting grounds in societies where young people have the right to guide their own destiny and choose their own leaders."


From the Sunday Times: "Driller killers" spread a new horror in Iraq
http://tinyurl.com/k6mg8

... First two police vehicles pulled up outside their house [Mustafa Sammarai's home, where his brother Mohamed was invited for lunch with their old friend Ali Ahmad] in the Hay al-Jihad district of Baghdad’s sprawling southern suburbs. Then came a convoy of up to 10 black BMWs and Opels — the favoured cars of the Shi’ite militias. Suddenly masked men brandishing Kalashnikov automatic rifles were storming inside. ... Two days later he [Ahmad] found his friends’ bodies in the city’s Teb al-Adli mortuary. Mustafa’s right eye had been gouged out and his right leg broken. Other parts of his body appeared to have been penetrated by an electric drill, an increasingly common tool of torture in Iraq. Mohammed’s body bore similar injuries. Both men had been shot in the head.

[...] John Pace, the outgoing head of the UN human rights office in Baghdad, said the vast majority of the bodies arriving at the mortuary showed signs of summary execution and many had their hands tied behind their backs. “Some showed evidence of torture, with arms and leg joints broken by electric drills,” said Pace, a Maltese official.

He claimed that militias were integrated with the police and were wearing police uniforms. One in particular was singled out: the Badr organisation that used to be the armed wing of the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SCIRI), the political party mentioned by one of the men in the Sammarais’ home.

... The Badr organisation, as it is known today, was founded in Iran in the 1980s with the aim of overthrowing Saddam Hussein and is thought to number 20,000 men. It was once led by Abdul Aziz al-Hakim, who now heads SCIRI, one of the main parties in the Shi’ite alliance that won last December’s election. The interior minister, Bayan Jabr, was also a member.

The Badr organisation has denied that it is operating death squads. Its leader, Hadi al-Amery, a member of parliament, said only 5% of the militia had been integrated into the Iraqi security forces. “We say to our members who go to the armed forces that your relationship with us will be severed,” he added. “No one is above the law.”

... According to Pace, the cases of torture and extrajudicial executions now exceed those under Saddam’s rule.

“Under Saddam, if you agreed to forgo your basic right to freedom of expression and thought, you were physically more or less okay,” he said. “Now you have a primitive, chaotic situation where anybody can do anything they want to anyone.”


I only have one question: How do Bush and Blair sleep at night? I know that Rumsfeld and Cheney don't sleep until sunrise, when they have to go back to their coffins.

Guess who's 59 today!!!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Love Story




It's love between a young cat and a mature chicken. Nuff said.

http://tinyurl.com/j3b3c

I am Canadian*


You might have noticed that, even though I live in Canada and am a Canadian citizen, most of my «political» or «cultural» posts are about the United States and the Bush Administration. Even with the recent federal election, I didn't show much interest in Canadian politics. There's nothing wrong with Canada, on the contrary. It's just that, compared to other countries, and especially to the US nowadays, Canada is pretty boring, and kinda easy to take for granted.

But reading this piece of news (http://tinyurl.com/pju6w) scared me straight again: A couple in in Scituate, Rhode Island, Mr. & Mrs Soehnge, decided to pay off their Mastercard balance because it has reached an unhealthy level. They send in a cheque for $6,522. Wrong move. All hell broke loose.

«After sending in the check, they checked online to see if their account had been duly credited. They learned that the check had arrived, but the amount available for credit on their account hadn't changed. So Deana Soehnge called the credit-card company. Then Walter called. [...]

They both learned the same astounding piece of information about the little things that can set the threat sensors to beeping and blinking. They were told, as they moved up the managerial ladder at the call center, that the amount they had sent in was much larger than their normal monthly payment. And if the increase hits a certain percentage higher than that normal payment, Homeland Security has to be notified. And the money doesn't move until the threat alert is lifted.

Walter called television stations, the American Civil Liberties Union and me. And he went on the Internet to see what he could learn. He learned about changes in something called the Bank Privacy Act. [...]

Eventually, his and his wife's money was freed up. The Soehnges were apparently found not to be promoting global terrorism under the guise of paying a credit-card bill. They never did learn how a large credit card payment can pose a security threat.»

Now let me regale you with another anecdote about another member of my family who has also fallen under the US spell, but in a much worse way than myself.

I have a cousin living in Ottawa who just had a tumor removed from his brain. The operation went well and he's out of the hospital now. His sister sent an email with the latest news to all our family members in Paris, Montreal, California, etc.. to keep us all informed. She also included an email from the cousin's wife. Wrong move. Let me quote wifey's message:

«After eating few spoons of soup at lunch, Yung [my cousin] walked to the hallway with me for a short walk. His dressing on his head was off today also, 19 staples. [...] Yung's problem was so minor compared with the frontline on the Ottawa Citizen today "Just another day in Iraq", a flashback of Vietnamese war images ... Instead of praying for Yung, please pray for the all the people involved in the Iraq at this moment.»
All hell broke loose: the poor sister was bombarded with emails from the family heaping abuses on the wife, and had to send emails all around apologizing on behalf of her sister-in-law. We're still at a loss, trying to understand what on earth moved her to ask us not to pray for her own husband, but for complete strangers, foreigners fighting a unjust war condemned by 95% of Canadians.


* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Canadian

Friday, March 03, 2006

How Weird Are You?

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

Another funny incident at the office



Or, to quote my boss: «When will you stop embarrassing me?»

I have a problem: I need a huge breakfast every morning. The one I eat at home before going to work is not enough. So about an hour after I arrive at the office, I always make myself another cup of coffee and heat up a croissant or two, which I devour sitting in front of the monitor.

Okay, so I have another problem: I am a slob. But a thoughtful and responsible slob. I always try to avoid dropping crumbs and other food items on my keyboard, so I tend to eat leaning back, so that the crumbs drop on my clothes instead.

This morning, after I finished eating, I did what I always do in such circumstances: I stood up with a chestful/lapful of crumbs, waddled towards the trashcan and did the Duckman Dance in order to shake the crumbs into the trashcan. It goes like this:

You thrust your pelvis! HUH!
You thrust your pelvis! HUH!
You thrust your pelvis! HUH!
You thrust your pelvis! HUH!
See: http://typ.ytmnd.com/ and http://history.cookiethievery.com/062804/

And when I turned around to get back to my seat, of course the Boss was there with one of the secretaries, standing at the door, both looking stunned.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican:

From: http://celestial-reasoning.blogspot.com/

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born( in perpetuity.)

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

Why Computers Sometimes Crash



Why Computers Sometimes Crash!
by Dr. Seuss.
[sent by a friend - Merci Semantica!]

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions are causing unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!


Well, that certainly clears things up for me.
How about you?